He looks at me for answers, and I look away.

What I see is another He looking for answers so I look away again.

And another He, and they all want my opinion, but why? Why am I who you want on your side?

The best I can do is play the field. I make snide remarks at each one; I disagree with he who thinks he is winning, then agree with him when his opponents take the lead; I knock them all down a peg when their voices adopt a collective cockiness; I support whoever assumes the role of the underdog but cut him loose if the tables turn, and choose a new underdog.

But they only hear the sarcasm I sling at their adversaries, and when it's done (and it only takes about thirty minutes), three smug smiles shine brightly at me. Each one believes that he alone has won me over, that he alone has become my apprentice.

I choose nobody.

What part of I'm not here right now don't you understand? What part of get the fuck out don't you understand?