walk into the barnes & noble unsure if I'm shaking or my vision is twitching

head for the coffee, my head tells me again

walk to the counter, don't look at anyone, not the kenyan man with his baby boy, not that kid from high school who of course is here, not the woman crying over a nicholas sparks novel in the new fiction section

what the fuck do I order? don't drink coffee, remember having someone's doubleshot in a can and not being totally repulsed, ask if they have any, he says no, um, but I can make one with the machine

"yeah do that"

say this through a grin that has been stuck to my face since the last drag of the joint I smoked outside in my car before I came in

the machine sounds like the beginning of kids on holiday, mouth the opening gibberish to its beat, the barnesisto hands my drink over the counter, my head down so I can only see his friendly but ultimately concerned smile

arrive at a table when I suddenly realize what I must have ordered and take a sip fully expecting a terrifying bitterness, cringe when I am right, still grinning, back to the counter and grab four sugars

a sip, another, "better."

questions, observations

aren't there too many words? I think there are too many words, it sounds like avey tare was recovering from lip surgery when he sang we tigers, can't write with him yelling in my ears, can only write with him yelling in my ears

did that strange man just come and pet that lady's children? no, that's their father

oh, damn, the kid works here

the son has started to cry, muffled through my headphones the wails fall into time with leaf house

in the lull between songs I notice an elderly man who has seated himself two seats away is reading an entire magazine, quite loudly, to his wife

midway through the next album, he stops reading, puts the magazine down, picks up another, and begins to read again

an obese man eats a piece of chocolate cake for fourteen minutes

thunder, I hear, rain

look up as siberian breaks ends, a woman stands directly between me and the greeting cards section, she moves out of the way and the sign behind her says